Zoom's 6th anniversary: Straight from 5 to 7

Randomly assigning articles is oftentimes a fun game we play here at Zoom. Sometimes we have so many pieces to publish that we let fate decide which one we’ll write about. So with that in mind, I had been tasked with telling you all about the 6th anniversary special of Zoom. But readers, I have come to a stunning conclusion:

There is no 6th season of Zoom.

I don’t mean there wasn’t an anniversary special that season. I mean that that season … simply doesn’t exist.

In my deep dive, I’ve discovered that Kate Taylor suffers from Hexaphobia – a fear of the number six. So just like office buildings that skip from 5 to 7, she insisted that Zoom not create any new episodes in its 6th year. So for 365 days, every late afternoon on PBS in its usual time slot, children were treated to a completely black screen. No skits, no experiments, no explanation – they simply faced the cold, black images of themselves staring back at them. And it still had better ratings than Hee Haw – believe it or not!

So since there was no season 6, that means that The Zoomers never competed in the First Lego League. No one was playing Romeo. Shing-Ying never played baseball. Francesco and Kyle never went to the Rhyme Time Diner, and Mike never made his Mom's apple pie. These things simply never happened and you imagined all of them.

If you do have any memory of these events, please double check your Berenstain Bears books or Kazaam VHS tapes for any further discrepancies. Now I’m off to watch Sex in the City and draw monocles on Rich Uncle Pennybags!